11/29/2007 FINAL UPDATE: Alas, the era of the PSP for me has ended… after many years of pleasure I have sold my PSP on Ebay.

I have sold my PSP on Ebay with many of the accessories and games I had gathered in the 2 years I owned it ($187.75 out the door). They were glorious years, but as is the case with gadgetry and lovers, something new and shiny came along that fit the bill even better: the iPhone. I will spare you all my lavish ramblings for that gizmo, but suffice it to say, it’s as good they say, and better. After all it never was about the games for me, and so the new OOMA (object of my affection) made more sense. Ole!

UPDATE: I have acquired my dream. I have now, in my possession, a brand new PSP… AND IT IS BETTER THAN I COULD HAVE HOPED!

You may all be happy to hear that I never received a dime from this little escapade, and that it was love alone that brought forth the bounty which, to me, is the PSP. My precious little lady, The Mega, hoodwinked and lied her way right into the record books. She straight facedly shit-talked the PSP every day, berated me for my childish wonts and desires, and then on the fateful day we call Christmas, she presented me with a box. Within that box was a smaller box, and within that box was a yet smaller box. It was this smaller box that held my preciousssss.

Angels sang, and bells rang, and Jason… cried. It was a moment that was better than any moment could ever have been. A true rarity. Thank you Mega. You are the best.

The original tale began here:

I’m obsessed. I’ll readily admit that. I have a hankering of quite an unnatural proportion for this thing, this gadget… they call the PSP.

As a web savvy browser of all things digital, but particularly those things technological, I’ve seen those sites, like smashmyipod.com.

At this particular site they asked for donations so that the person responsible for the site could walk into an Apple Store, purchase a $400 iPod and smash it right there in front of the counter. Of course, this was all filmed and posted to the internet. To me, this stinks of materialism gone wrong - the ultimate in disposable culture.

I figure I’ll go the other way: donate money, and the person responsible for this site will walk into a Sony Store, purchase a $249 PSP and play with it for the rest of the objects natural life span. Of course, I will document this all with photographs of me and my PSP in wonderful situations: running, hand-in-hand, through a field of wild flowers, soaping each other up in the shower, hitting folk music festival, passing the peace pipe in the midst of philosphical discourse, etc, etc. Hell, we’ll even take requests.

So, what do you say: make a dream come true. Help me get my PSP.

Or if you hate that you’ve even spent the time reading these words, then scroll on to read the words of others that hate, because, honestly, if I don’t get a dime from this, the comments alone have made it worth it!

First, a moment of silence…

Click the button above and make a donation - VISA, Mastercard and Paypal happily accepted.

Goal: $249.00
Progress: $25.00

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Here are some things people have had to say:

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“I totally bought you that for Christmas. Now I can donate it to the
needy children at the palsy palace since everybody is chipping in.
I’ll give you my $4.50 the next time I see ya.”

- T. Briner

—

“Wow, congrats, you’re insane!”

- A. Johnson

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“This is the type of desperate, sniveling cocksuckery I’d only expect out of you as you dangle fully clothed from a rope over a lake. You’ve sunk to a new low. Throwing nickels at a syphilitic crackhead would be money better spent. Let me know if it works.”

- J. Schimansky

—

“Up yours with your psp. Get an extra gig. Postpone a vacation. Eliminate a frivolous expense for a month or two. Get a job as a busboy or server and quit the moment you’ve earned $250. Sell another painting.”

- D. Hannah

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“So let me get this straight. You want a PSP, and figure that we will all chip in to help you get one? Wow. Kudos. Bold. Of course I’m not giving you a god damn nickel. Maybe you should try your schpeel on the F train.”

- M. Oberg

—

“You are shameless.

If it were in my power to take electricity away from this world and return it to the technology of 200 years ago I would. Rendering powerless all the devilish devices and gadgets that make this world a “better” and “easier” place, all the while giving us all cancer, linking our nuclear-war futures to the push of a mechanized button and causing various other health and non-health related problems, i.e. The greenhouse effect.

Having said that, I will volunteer my money to your cause for you to NOT buy another gadget that you do not need. One that’s been clogging the artery of America’s already obese and ailing heart, turning our youth into fat, lazy and uncommunicative zombies. It’s bad enough we and our SUV lifestyles consume half of the world’s resources, but we also voluntarily vomit them up or consume so much of them that we kill ourselves in the process, then complain to the government that we didn’t know Big Macs were bad for us and who can we sue?

So… I will volunteer my money to go to the cause of you buying a book. A device that has changed the world (movable type) and ignited the passions and minds of everyone from the ancient Hebrews to the modern astronauts.”

- D. Coyle